Baby Milka's Here or: I Gave Birth Again!

Yes, it's true! Milka Anne Meurer was born Thursday morning, 4/21. She weighed 5 lbs., 13 oz. and was generally regarded as The World's Cutest Baby.

We've been sort of busy around here. Fact: life with two children is considerably different than life with one child. Fact: newborns do not care about cars.

Sammy loves his sister, despite her lack of appreciation for his car collection. And I'm pretty sure Milka is slightly aware of Sammy's existence; once she tried to nurse his hand. Actually, here's a list of things Milka has tried to nurse: Sammy's hand, my neck, Will's neck, her own arm, her own hand, and a blanket.

Milka is almost four weeks old and the easiest baby ever. I'm not sure if this is a second baby thing, or a girl thing, or a personality thing, but she is about nine million times more laid back than baby Sammy. GOD IS GOOD.

So, here's Milka's birth story. Warning: the following story contains lots of uterus, placenta, cervix, vomit, and pain. Also, joy! And a tiny cute baby!

I Make Terrible Placentas
On Wednesday, 4/20, I went to my 38 week check-up with my midwife. Everything was fine, until she measured the size of my uterus and said, "Hmmm." I said, "Yes?" She said,"You're measuring 34 or 35 weeks." I said, "WHAT? REALLY? AGAIN? This happened with Sammy!" (This is me freaking out.) She said, "I'm sure everything's alright." I said, "I'm sure everything is not alright." She said, "Let's do a growth scan ultrasound to check on her. Can you come back in an hour?" I said, "Yes. Good idea. I'm going to go home and get Will and Sammy and not freak out." So, I did most of those things, and in an hour we were back at the office, looking at an ultrasound that showed a suddenly small (14th percentile) baby. Later, a nurse at the hospital would say, "You make terrible placentas!" My midwife looked worried but said, "I think everything will be...fine. You should be...fine. Why don't you go home and monitor baby's movement for the next week. We'll do another ultrasound in five days to see if she's still losing weight. If so, we'll have to induce you. That would mean your placenta is no longer working. But everything will be...fine." Will comforted me with "Sammy was fine; Milka will be fine," but I was upset and did what anyone would do: I went and bought a cinnamon roll. I called my mom. I cried. I shouted "WHY, STUPID PLACENTA, WHY?" until Sammy asked, "What's a placenta?" and "Are you ok, Mama?" I said, "A placenta feeds a baby, OR SHOULD, UNLESS IT'S DUMB, and, yes, I'm...fine, sweetheart."

Contractions or: This is not Heartburn! I am in Labor!
Sammy and I got home around 12:30 pm, and my friend Katherine came over with tacos, chips and queso, and this cake that may or may not induce labor. We ate, and Katherine joked that we should play that appalling "Friday" song to send me into labor. (We had played it before, and Milka had started violently kicking me. Conclusion: Milka hates that song and will do anything to make it stop.) So, we did. We tried to get Sammy to dance to it, but he wasn't interested. Then, a little while later (around 2:00 pm), I started feeling something that didn't feel like contractions but also didn't feel like cupcakes and happiness. Katherine said, "Maybe you're in labor!" I said, "No. Probably not." She also said, "But if you are, you should try to not have this baby today. It's 4/20. And Hitler's birthday. Hold out for tomorrow." I said, "Good point. I'll do my best." She left, and I put Sammy down for a nap. I thought, "Maybe I am in labor." I felt pain at the top of my uterus and throughout my back, but it was pain without any break or downtime. I called Will and asked, "Could I be in labor?" He said, "How far apart are your contractions?" I said, "NO FAR APART! JUST PAIN!" Will said, "I'm so sorry. Drink some hot tea. Try to relax." I drank some hot tea. I tried to relax. I called my mom and asked, "Could I be in labor?" She told me to call my midwives/doctors, so I did. The nurse who answered suggested I "take a warm bath" and "call back in an hour if the pain [didn't] subside," so I did. WORST BATH EVER. The pain was increasing, and I definitely felt like something was not right. The doctor who answered my call said, "I think you should come up to the hospital. Either you're in labor, or something else is terribly wrong." (Encouraging.) I called Will ("COME HOME NOW"), I called my mom ("COME TO AUSTIN NOW"), and I called Katherine ("COME BACK NOW"). Katherine came back to stay with Sammy (thank God for friends), and Will and I went to the hospital (thank God for husbands; namely, mine). It was sometime after 6:30 pm when the doctor checked me and said, "Your cervix is dilated 3 cm, and you're registering contractions that are three minutes apart. You can't feel that?" I said, "NO FAR APART! JUST PAIN!" She said, "Hmm, well, since this is your second pregnancy, I'm not sure if you are actually in labor. Some women can walk around for a week with contractions and a dilated cervix. What did you eat for lunch?" I said, "Tacos and chips and queso." She said, she actually said, "Could it be heartburn? I mean that in the best way possible. Could this pain you're experiencing be heartburn?" I said, "THIS IS NOT HEARTBURN. I AM IN LABOR. Also, I think I need to vomit." Will gave me a vomit bag (thanks, husband!), I threw up, and my water broke. The doctor said, "Oh! You're in labor!" Yes. I was.

Pain! Baby!
We were given a labor/delivery room around 9:00 pm. I began asking anyone and everyone for an epidural. (I am all for natural childbirth; I am, in fact, all for the natural childbirth of my own children in theory. In reality, I cannot feel contractions JUST PAIN, and, apparently, I cannot tolerate pain. So much pain. I tried all my Bradley relaxation techniques and then decided natural childbirth was not for me.) I got an epidural, and the pain stopped. THANK YOU, GOD. Will and I tried to sleep a little (I was only dilated to 5cm at this point), and aside from the constant blood pressure taking and contraction monitoring, I was mostly left alone by the nurses, able to sleep a little here and there. Sometime that next morning (4/21!) my doctor started Pitosin to speed things along, and within an hour Milka's heart rate began dropping. My doctor smartly said, "Yeah, let's stop the Pitosin," and Milka's heart rate went back to normal. Then she checked me and discovered that not all my water had broken. She said, "Let's break the rest of your water! Then you'll have this baby soon!" I said, "Yes. Do it." Then pain happened, and we had our baby girl around 8:30 am!

So, that's Milka's birth story. And she's here and wonderful and cute as a monkey! Now, more photos: