Nuvember: Tooth Fairies and Queens

Sammy calls this month "Nuvember," which is adorable and, yes, incorrect. We've mentioned the proper pronunciation about five thousand times, and he usually acknowledges us and then three seconds later says something like, "Milka, Nuvember is what this month is called. Remember when I told you that [three seconds ago]?"

Tuesday Sammy had to go to the dentist to have two teeth pulled (his permanent teeth were coming in behind his baby ones), and I nearly convinced him that his tooth fairy is a Russian immigrant named Boris who drives a tow truck by day and delivers monetary rewards by night. I insisted that Boris had a window decal on his tow truck that states, "ONLY GOD CAN JUDGE ME," and that if Sammy wasn't nice to Milka, Boris would give him nothing and leave a note that said, "Boris give you nothing." Sammy thought this was great and went to bed dreaming of a Russian stranger named Boris. Obviously, I'm a wonderful mother. In the morning Sammy found $5 under his pillow, and the box holding his teeth had been transferred to the back of a tiny Hot Wheels tow truck. (That last part was Will's idea. GENIUS.) Boris left a note that extolled the virtues of eating fruit and being nice to your sister, and even though Sammy's response to the note was mainly, "Hey, isn't this the paper you use to write lists for the grocery store, Mama?", I thought I had fooled him. Then he told Milka about it all and ended with, "Boris is Mama." I responded by shouting, "NEXT TIME BORIS GIVE YOU NOTHING," which is definitely how an adult should respond. I regret nothing.

Thursday at the grocery store I accidentally referred to Milka as "Milka face." Naturally, she was indignant. She then shouted at me, "NEXT TIME YOU NO CALL ME MEEKA FACE. YOU CALL ME MEEKA OR MEEKA QUEEN."

Also Thursday I was reading Milka a story about baby animals (it's called Baby Animals), when she interrupted the story to pick up her pretend phone and shout, "HI, BAKA. I LIKE DIDA'S EYE. I HAVE RUNNY NOSE. YOU ARE MY LOVE. BYE BYE."*

*Yes, Milka speaks exclusively in shouts or mumbles. The mumbles are generally confined to things she feels less confident about (*mumble* "I no like spiders with eighteen legs and a seppa-la-torax"). She shouts when she is sure of herself ("EVERYONE CALL ME MEEKA QUEEN") or talking to her grandparents. She's a lot of fun.

Happy Nuvember, people!